The Fifth Commandment and the Household
According to Leo Tolstoy, “Happy families are all alike; unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way.” There is truth in that observation, inasmuch as there is a God-given design for the family that, when observed, will generally lead to harmony and happiness. Equally, when that design is neglected in any of a thousand different ways, the tendency will be toward disharmony and unhappiness.
A key feature of that God-given design for the family is parental authority and filial submission. Just as there is an order in marriage, in which husbands are servant-leaders while wives are submissive-helpers, so too there is an order in the family. It is laid out in the fifth commandment: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Ex. 20:12). This is the first of the commandments that deal with human-human relationships rather than human-divine relationships, preceding even the commandments against murder and adultery. That demonstrates just how important this commandment was in its ancient context, where people were much less individually oriented than they are in the modern West.