I'm a confessional Calvinist, but I have the nagging sense that God slipped up when he allowed me to pastor a church. A number of questions go through my mind as I consider God's decision to allow me to pastor at Dayspring Church (PCA). Is the church in such dire straits that I can actually be a help to her? Are things that bad? Or am I so ineffectual in my administration, my leadership, my influence, that I have not the will or ability to harm a church? Or perhaps, in the best of worlds, the postmillennial folks are right and the church, while gimpy, is steadily limping towards victory such that dragging one more weak pastor along will hardly slow her progress. But even that positive spin doesn't help me -- it still looks like I'm not up for the job.