The Biblical Foundation of Intimate Marriage

from Jul 24, 2012 Category: Ligonier Resources

In this excerpt from his message, “The Biblical Foundations of Intimate Marriage,” Dr. R.C. Sproul Jr. exposes the evangelical church’s worldly view of marriage and presents the biblical foundation of intimate marriage.


Inside the church our problem isn’t the baptizing of evil, but taking the good and perverting it. And this is how we do this. We accept inside the church as our fundamental premise the same fundamental premise of the world when it comes to marriage and the family. We agree with the world that the purpose and function of marriage—that it’s all about us. That a successful life is a life wherein we acquire a reasonable amount of joy and satisfaction, and everything else has to get in line with that.

If my life is the pursuit of a reasonable amount of joy and satisfaction then everything about my life, every part, every slice of my life has to serve, be poured into that pursuit; including marriage. We often think that joy and satisfaction will stem from or grow out of a reasonable amount of joy and satisfaction that comes from a fulfilling level of emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy. And we don’t even realize that this is precisely how the world justifies its own distortions of marriage.

Now friends, the Christian, I’m sorry to say more often than that, sadly accepts this basic premise. But then argues that we get to joy and satisfaction through obedience to God’s commands; the goal is the same. The pathway for them is libertinism, do whatever you want, the pathway for us is, obey God. We’ve talked about this before. About in our own syncretism, our own habit of worshiping the God of the Ages with the god of the age, that the deal we cut is we’re going to pursue the god of the age, but we’re going to do it in light of the law of the God of the Ages. We’re all about pursuing personal peace and affluence, but what separates us from the world is—we won’t break the Ten Commandments while we do it, very often. Or at least that you can tell.

In the context of the family, while the world around us is showing us house wives desperate for joy, we respond by arguing that monogamy is the ultimate aphrodisiac. But friends, this is not the way God made things. It isn’t enough in light of rampant divorce, people living together, all sorts of moral issues; it isn’t enough for us to stand up and say, “One man, one woman, one commitment.” That’s not where we find our foundation, our biblical foundation for intimacy. God’s design friends, isn’t simply that husbands are to love their wives, and wives are to submit to their husbands. The Bible says that, but it’s not as simple as that. His design isn’t simply that children are a blessing, though the Bible says that. His design in this, for marriage and for everything else, if you want to be first, you must be last. If you want to live, you must die. And if you want to gain, you must loose. Which means this, that the biblical foundation for the intimate marriage is that we don’t start out seeking the intimate marriage.